A child's attitude, views, goals, and perspective depend on what he or she learns from their parents. I won't argue why children "should" or "shouldn't" fear their parents. This surprised us, given that we polled the parents of relatively young children. Whether a child is two, twelve or sixteen years old, it would be unusual for him or her to be "fear-free." Some people experience conflicts with parents early in life that carry over through the years. For example, clinical psychologists Seth Meyers and Preston Ni explain how the actions of the parents can ruin the lives of their children. This was the top fear of the parents in our survey. Be realistic about child custody battles. Some level of conflict is a given component of all relationships. Know what your possible courses of action are – there’s civil action and there’s action through your state’s child protection services. As a child matures, old fears are overcome, and new fears arise to take their place. Facing the death of a parent with whom you have a contentious relationship can weigh heavy on your heart. The child, due to loyalty to both parents and typically fear of the angry parent… Fear comes with us as a survival mechanism, to keep us alive. When your child is afraid -- whether at age 5 or 15 -- remember to approach the fears with respect. The Divorce Coach Says. Living things fear what is physically bigger and appear more powerful than them. Psychologists and child behavior specialists can help us tell the difference between ungrateful children from those who have been victims of a toxic influence. The girls are scared to. The Fear: I'm afraid my child won't get the education and opportunities she needs to reach her potential. What do you do in a situation like this? A child's demeanor is also a reflection of how they've been treated by their parents. When the angry parent says/does things to turn the child away from the parent things become complicated. Those with parents can be particularly trying -- especially as an adolescent. Not only are they being frightened and hurt but the parent, upon whom they rely for comfort and regulation is lost to them, at least temporarily, as a source of solace and support. Here is … What a child learns or experiences in their early years is known to leave a lasting impression on them. They, are left to manage their fear and hurt on their own and to make sense of the situation through the eyes of a child. People With Unresolved Parent-Child Conflict. Parents are a child's first teachers in life. Interestingly, children of similar ages tend to share similar types of fears. Chansky suggests following these basic guidelines: Don't try to talk your child out of being afraid. Fear-based parenting comes in various shades, depending partly on the types of fears most prominent in the parents’ minds and partly on the parents’ personalities and economic means. 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